I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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