Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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