Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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