I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
