I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
