Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just had sex on a roof
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize