Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
