What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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