Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
