she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
