ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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