you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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