I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
