We got so high we made milksteak
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
