he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize