It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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