I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
