3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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