just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
