"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
