i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize