my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
