I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
