You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
