Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
