please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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