This girl is more easily done than said...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
