I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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