Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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