You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
