Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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