I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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