I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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