just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
