things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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