I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
