so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
