At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
