So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
