Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize