Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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