Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize