i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
