Whod you bang
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
