I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
