I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
