would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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