i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
