i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
