K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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