he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
