At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
