Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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