awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
