so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
