How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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