i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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