I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
