And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
