dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
