Having a random hookup so left but love u
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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