we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
