problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
