you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
