I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
