Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
