its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
